he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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