How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
whose parrot is this?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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