you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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