my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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