Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
