Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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