Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
