i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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