I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
