spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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