how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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