just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am mentally ready for anal.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
