If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
