for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
