Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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