He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
