So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
