My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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