How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
