Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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