I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize