I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
