Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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