Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
