he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
