AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
