You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
