She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
