you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
