they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
