chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
