I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
