I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
