Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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