her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
