Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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