Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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