Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
