I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
