I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
