i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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