Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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