we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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