U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We are all done wearing pants today
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
