the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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