I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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