allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
