Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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