We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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