dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
