we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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