i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
