btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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